In my next life

True to form, it’s been almost exactly a year since I last updated. Geez Louise….

Speaking of, have you ever wondered just who Louise is/was? What on earth did that poor woman do to become the subject of an expression of disappointment or surprise or annoyance?

Anyway.

As I was exploring this blog that I haven’t touched in a year, I came across a post that I started, but never published. I think it’s worth a look and a follow–up:

I’ve made many comments (much more than normal) recently about things I will do in my next life. Be a spy, marry an Irishman, be in a movie, discover something important, etc. Mostly silly things. But still. It has lead me to wonder if I’m satisfied with my current life.

These thoughts could be related to my recent birthday, about which I am not entirely excited. Somehow I feel a little behind in life. Like I haven’t quite accomplished enough for 26 years. I’m on the way to accomplishing things… but not yet there. And when I cross the current things off my bucket list, there will always be more. An endless list of life agenda items.

So when does the list get shorter? When am I satisfied with that I’ve done? When have I “arrived?” Ever?

As I am once again in my birthday week, one year later, this partial–post has be thinking over the last year and re–evaluating these questions.

To start, in the past year I have, in no particular order:

  • interned with a fabulous organization in D.C. (Refugees International, for those that want to check it out);
  • completed my masters degree;
  • went on staff at the University of Missouri;
  • changed my status to engaged;
  • met some significant fitness goals;
  • had my first bicycle accident (just last week!);
  • FINALLY dressed up as the “Dalton gang” with my siblings for Halloween;
  • successfully turned my sister–in–law into a [small] dog person;
  • began the process of starting a new business;
  • plenty of meaningless, but important, things. 🙂

    The Dalton Gang
    Yup, we’re that awesome!

So do I still feel behind in life?

Yes. Just maybe not as much.

Perhaps it’s because we went back to school. Or because we each took some time before going back. Or because we’ve been together for over four years and are just now getting around to exchanging rings and signing papers. Or because we are both in our late 20’s now.

But it does feel like we are just getting started sometimes. If I was like my mom at this age, I would have three kids! Now, ignoring the fact that I don’t ever want to have three kids, the comparison of my life to hers is pretty striking.

But I suppose the real question is, do I regret any of the decisions that now make me feel somewhat behind?

And thinking back, that answer is a definite “no.”

I wouldn’t mind if some things had happened a little faster. But as cheesy as it sounds, and as much as I see it plastered on Pinterest, life really is about the journey. I distinctly remember making a decision as a youth not to regret anything. Which seems impossible, but most things about faith seem impossible, so what the hay. There are always the little regrets, like making a cycling mistake resulting in nasty bruises, or having just a tad too much to drink, or saying something mean without thinking, etc.

But I can honestly say that I do not regret any of the significant steps I’ve taken or decisions I’ve made in my life.

I’ve managed to do that for 27 years, so I think I have a pretty good record going forward. Happy birthday to me! 🙂

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